Sisters, survivors and all of you still out there. Give me a bit of your time because I want to tell you something. You might know me or maybe not but I am that girl that for years, day after day, spent my life in that hell hole of a discreet apartment.
I was there, a walking body. A sort of robot, that was me. It’s been five months since I exited prostitution. Wow what a revolution in my mind and body! I finally believed all the women who surrounded me with their love. I surrendered to their pure and unconditional love. They were with me during all those difficult days. You see, when your soul is wounded and your body is wounded, everything inside will rot from that open wound. I decided to be hospitalized in a special unit for survivors of childhood sexual abuse. This was my first time being hospitalized and I have been here for a week now. We are two in a room. It’s a brand new special trauma unit for whoever has been through the trauma of sexual abuse. Three weeks of intensive care. I didn’t even dare to imagine that I would survive here more than a few days. I cried all through the first two days. The pain is so huge and memories are flooding me. I couldn’t believe people before I came here but the treatment I received has been outstanding. I have been embraced by a team of professionals, all experts in their field and they work day and night to get me back on track so that I can return to the rehabilitation hostel and continue my recovery from prostitution. Deep down in our hearts we know that we aren’t the crazy ones and we should be smothered with love and patience. We need an expert team of professionals who will be there to help us as we exit. The staff here always asks me if I feel safe here and if the attention I am getting feels alright. I wish that everyone of us could get such warm and comforting treatment.
It isn’t easy to get admitted here. The waiting list is very long. I waited over a month, but I finally got admitted and it was worth every waiting moment. I can’t believe why everyone here loves me, they don’t even know me. They claim that here the “real” me comes out, they are such devoted therapists. Even the nurses and cleaning staff give me the best and loving treatment. Is this real? Is there such a place? Until now I’ve only encountered insane asylums, but apparently there is another option. A program aimed at protecting women who suffered from sexual trauma, to protect us from everything that had happened to us. They are here for us. If you’re still in bed, still crying, still suffering, google Magen ichilov and see that a place like this exists. A place that can help women like us to get up and win. To defeat everything and everyone.
I’m sitting here on the bed, teardrops running down my cheeks, I have no supporting family. I’ve had so many treatments! But only here the mask comes off and they can see the real me, they can see I’m not a robot-body. It’s unbelievable that a place like this exists. I’m here in bed crying and my black scarf with the white polkadots, because today I’m black with white dots of hope. Here at Magen everyone takes care of me, hugs me, reminds me that the white dots will soon become bigger and bigger and soon take over all of the black. That they will turn into colored ones, the black will turn into blue like the sky and with it the yellow; the sun which will help me rise from this dark citation will come.
It’s hard, but with the difficulties comes the love and success dear sisters. When I recover, I will take each and every one of you to be treated here. Every injured one will heal, every girl who is still there, won’t be there anymore and we will stay as long as we need, an extra week or two. I’m not planning on ever leaving, I’ve never been treated like this before. I hug you my suffering sisters, I know the feeling, I’ve said it before and I will say it again: love + will = success. Thank you for dedicating a few minutes of your time, I wish you love and serenity, I hug you and love you, from me, the body who is no longer a robot but a human being, and I wish my day to become a happy smiling woman will come soon.